Lust and Guilt

I like it though, holding myself back like this...
it just makes me even more desperate,
than I get creative, submissive, to the point that I would do
anything.

Lust, like wine, I like to savor it, splash it on my face, throw it,
scream at it!! drown myself in it, before I let it down my throat.
How do you do it? do you just drink it when it comes?
or do you make love to it? live it?

Whats so heartbreaking about abstinence is
that, Im not allowed to touch the wine.
and even though I cross the line
and abuse it as if it was mine,
Greater curse comes if I drink it... fine

Ill just wait for my time.
but when it comes
will even God regret he made me wait?
Ill probaly end up killing my wife,,
but Ill make sure she likes it...

I tend to corrupt the girls Im with,
I feel guilty, but I cant control myself.
I dont break them, but they become
as desperate and as creative as me.

which is why its gonna be hard to let this one go...

Fantasy:

And because of what I told her day and day again, she became slowly into something that only my subconsciouus would recognize.  Against my desires, though according to my will she transformed essence by essence, into a bestial queen, a goddess of disgrace, whorehouse for lust.  Who was this soul of irrestible mystery, leading one through by concentrated curiosity and wonder; once found it throws its host into deranged placidity, such desire, such satisfaction, such pleasure.  And the rest of the world seems meaningless to pursue.  Deranged, they are left without much reflection  about the state their are actually in, about the matters outside, about a purpose in life, about their living state; pretty soon and gradually one would find himself dead in his mind.  But a mortal can only affect as much as a mortal can, and as far as this goes, the only thing that is kept with any sign of permanence is the defilement, and the dementedness in their hearts as treasure, as it is now seen, is their pleasure.

Last saved April 3, 2009