Obviously Not!

   Nobody knows, nobody understands, Where am I? Why am I

here? Why do I wonder these things and nobody else does?

Am I mentally disabled? Altered? is it unreasonable to

wonder where I come from?

>>>Every body seems to know the answer (explains why they

don't wonder), they say that we are just meat that grows

and gets recycled. They say "We come from each other,

I am part of these and you are part of those. This is who

we are.  Ignore that we use to be inanimate, ignore that

we have a conscience, ignore that we wonder, lets just not

wonder. We are just meat that grows and gets recycled,

we dont live, we dont think, we just are. We are just

bodies, without a purpose, without a care, the living

dead."

>>>But I still wonder, I am not just this body, I am

something else, something deep within my physical being.

I am not saying that I have a spirit, I am not saying that

I have a soul, I am saying that I just am. And I dont

understand why or how I am.

>If the world could have been satisfied, if the universe

would have existed without an incentive to move, why

is there life? Why is there me? Is our purpose to die

and never live again? Is that our unfortunate hand? if so

why live?

>>>Its weird, I know that my "am" is not just this body,

I know that my body is not all that I am. Do machines have

life? do computers think on their own? do rocks have a

conscience? do robots know they exist?

>>>They say our body is an amazing machine, they say

that our consciousness comes from our body. They say

we come from the womb, the womb and cell. They say that

we are programmed, like computers, to be just how we are.

But I wonder, and I know that I am not like a computer.

Computers exist, but they don't know it. I exist, and I am

more lucid about the fact. But nobody else thinks so, they

solve life's problems and answer the meaning of life with

physics and psychology. But I wonder, there is more, is

there more? Like a first grader learns how to divide and

subtract and he thinks that's all there is to ever know,

not knowing that the world involves more complex concepts,

like imaginary numbers, dimensions, and non-existants: A

scientist believes that all there is to this world

is ALL these complex concepts, everything that is covered

by this spectrum, and Nothing more, not knowing that there are greater things than those that can be seen, calculated,

and imagined. There is, those have to be.

>If anything can exist, and there are things that exist

that we dont know of, then, there are things that exist that we dont know of. Something out there far away, that

hear us and see us, sense us without need of light, the

possibilty is true. It is as true as our memories (which

we can also not be sure if they are true).

Why does nobody care? Why doesnt anybody wonder?

Why does everybody live with the mentality that they know

all that exist and anything they don't know doesnt exist?

Is there anyone else out there that thinks that they are

alive? Do I have a mental disorder to think like this?

or is it them?

>>>>>I say there is a God, someone that helps me and keeps

me on check. They keep telling me

"THERE IS NO...SUCH... THING!!",

>>>>>They convince me, and expel the God from my

consideration!!! I reason that ther is no real purpose

to life. If I will just die, and when my body dies its

all over, I die; and if there is nothing else in the

world to live for, except for the world (with any of

its artificial commercial motives), then this life that

THEY lead is nothing but a fantasy, a mere implanted

role to fool them to think that their life and their

successes matter; but if there is no God, there is no

point, no purpose, we are all defeated by death at

the end.

>>>>>In the end... there is nothing. All your accomplishments are gone. These things in life are just

to make you think that life matters, but it doesnt. This

life s what the media says it is, its a commercial role.

Thats all it is. This universe is as good as SURREAL. And

all this is as valuable as a dream.

>When I kill and scare,I rape and terrorize, horrify; this

life is as good as a dream, and it is all my dream (and

you can't tell me otherwise).  I am in control, and just

like in a dream, I make my own doom by believing, deep

in my heart believing, that I am doomed, so it is in this

world. So I shall not believe in my doom.

>They may run afraid and desperate, but what do they care?

Alive they may be, but they don't know it, they don't

appreciate it. To themselves they are just programmed to

be afraid and run away (and so they shall). They are just

like puppets on the playground, like characters in a

computer game. They dont even wonder, they just run, and

live like they are commanded by the media.

>As for me, I am stuck n this surreal world without a

purpose I am like Lucifer chained down in that bottomless

pit, stuck forever, never to get out,without hope of

healing this wondering that they, finally, call

insanity.  My purpose is...not to terrorize, I just have

nothing better to do. And nothing is better than anything

because it all ends in nothing anyways.  Just like they

said. My purpose is...not to terrorize, my purpose is not.

-----But then, I can't afford to have been...

right after all

first I go through my annoyance at
scientific explaination of life and consciousness.

Then I go through my disrespect towards scientific pride
that says that logic aand science is the only God, and
there is nothing else that is valid in the world... like if
Truth can be captured by human minds. To this I respond
that what we sense and are able to think about cannot be the only thing that exists, or at least that, we cannot say that
it is the only things that exist.

Then I express my appall at the amount of people in the world,
so many people that surround me that do not even consider
these things, to which I wonder "do they even know that they
are alive? or are they just cruisin along in life like they
would if they were dead?"

Then I present a peradventure of me realizing that there is
no God,and how I would appreciate life if there really was no
God. This is what I would do if I was an atheist. I wonder
why arent atheist living life like they are suppose to,
I mean gosh there are so many people to rape out there, and
why would you be concerned about having a "good" life if
there is no afterlife and all your memories disappear, when
you die, like if you never lived at all. To the lifestyle of
atheists I conclude that they must be living a commercial life,
since they think its bad to rape and have sex with children
just because our country's laws says it is. Why wouldnt an
... nevermind,

finally I conclude my peradventure of being an atheist by
saying that if I lived the perfect life of an atheist, I
cant afford for God to exist. I am not saying that
this is the only or any reason to believe in God
but I just cant afford to be wrong if I dont believe in God.
Well I guess it wouldnt matter if I was an atheist
because my atheist conclusion of myself as an atheist and my christian conclusion of myself as an atheist would be the same.

So if I was an atheist, whether God exists or not,I still have
the same end,which is, a final nothingness and eternal
non-existance.

Last saved March 24, 2009